Home again.
Mom has responded to the medicines and her ammonia levels are back down. So this morning they said they might discharge her and this afternoon, we got a call that she was indeed coming home. I guess this is a good thing? I mean who wouldn't want to be in their own bed in their own home. And yet, I'm betting I speak for Dad as well as myself, when I say we feel so inadequate to the task of caring for her. I feel like I keep falling into the trap of thinking the hospital will help us out or be a guide or some kind of partner in helping us move forward. Telling us where we are in this whole thing and what we should next. But they don't. They fix the problem at hand and when it's fixed clear the bed for the next person. As it probably should be. Just like everything else in life, it's up to us to interpret what has or is happening as intelligently as we can and make the best call that we can. I'll be calling hospice and finding out what more we can do to make her comfortable. She's extremely weak right now so I'll ask that visits wait until Monday. And if you call us on our cells or here at the house, if you could call before 9pm, that would be great.
I do want to say that I am overwhelmed by everyone's response. I mean just the number of pageviews that blogger says I've received amazes me. That so many people are checking in and keeping up with us and praying for us-- I can't tell you how grateful I am for you all. Everyone who's left a comment on Facebook or simply "liked" a status update or texted or called or emailed. I see each one and am so grateful for your prayers and thoughts.
I guess our prayer requests would be for
- courage to do what we need to do and face things boldly and with grace.
- that He would give us this day our daily bread. Whatever we need for the day, that we would have it.
- that we would understand and be smart about what she needs and what she doesn't
- that we would be able to finish these conversations before she goes.
- personally please pray for my faith. I kind of hate everything, really.
- my relationship with my dad.
Just pick one and pray. So many of you ask what you can do and if we need anything just to let you know. I don't seem to be able to pray anymore. Not really. So just pick one and pray for me.
Also know that yes, this is hard and yes, I'm upset about it. But also know I've been able to be pretty strong and still laugh and function like a normal person and find things funny. I share some of the darker times here. I'll try to balance with some lighter moments as well. Bottom line: I'm not going jump off anything high. :)
I do want to say that I am overwhelmed by everyone's response. I mean just the number of pageviews that blogger says I've received amazes me. That so many people are checking in and keeping up with us and praying for us-- I can't tell you how grateful I am for you all. Everyone who's left a comment on Facebook or simply "liked" a status update or texted or called or emailed. I see each one and am so grateful for your prayers and thoughts.
I guess our prayer requests would be for
- courage to do what we need to do and face things boldly and with grace.
- that He would give us this day our daily bread. Whatever we need for the day, that we would have it.
- that we would understand and be smart about what she needs and what she doesn't
- that we would be able to finish these conversations before she goes.
- personally please pray for my faith. I kind of hate everything, really.
- my relationship with my dad.
Just pick one and pray. So many of you ask what you can do and if we need anything just to let you know. I don't seem to be able to pray anymore. Not really. So just pick one and pray for me.
Also know that yes, this is hard and yes, I'm upset about it. But also know I've been able to be pretty strong and still laugh and function like a normal person and find things funny. I share some of the darker times here. I'll try to balance with some lighter moments as well. Bottom line: I'm not going jump off anything high. :)
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