It's been a long day.

We went to the oncologist today for the last time as it turns out. Getting there was a chore. Once there we waited 2 hours to see the doctor. He told us what we already kind of knew but had been afraid to say out loud. We have days to weeks left with her. IN her condition he said further treatment wasn't necessary. Her liver is shutting down and her body with it.

Even before we left for the doctor's office this morning, we knew we couldn't wait till monday for hospice. She can't stand on her own, this morning she could barely stand to sit up. She wanted so badly to go to the hospital, but I knew that what she wanted was the comfort provided by a hospital's 24/7 care. And I knew that instead of going to the Emergency Room, yet again, we needed hospice. I called and re-scheduled the visit for this afternoon.

Turns out we had a small crew for the meeting with Hospice. Dad, myself, Sue our caregiver, Laura a close family friend who has been heavily involved with us in Mom's care, and mom's cousin Jerri Ann, who happened to be in for a visit and stopped by.

Alive Hospice is amazing. Our induction nurse, Gaylia, took care of everything. Before we had spoken too long, she ordered a hospital bed and some other equipment. "And that will be delivered this afternoon." She also went through and took out two or three meds mom no longer needs. It's so awesome to work with someone who knows what they are doing. For the first time we don't feel like Dad and I are the ones to have to make these big decisions on our own. We have a whole team to help make and keep her comfortable. On call nurses to answer questions and if we need them to, come out and evaluate her. She'll stay here at home with us and we still will have Sue Monday through Friday. But we're no longer on our own.

In no time, Laura had put out the word and friends arrived to help move out some furniture to make way for the new bed. Jerri Ann went out and bought sheets for the hospital bed. I loved it when I saw she bought really nice ones that match mom's bedroom. Other cousins, Karen and Phil, had previously offered to bring dinner over. Of course when they did, they found a crowd. My brother and his wife came over. My mom's sister Norma and her husband came over. But the food meant for three people was like the fishes and the loaves and fed the whole place.

Amy, Ken and baby Kiran have changed their plans and are coming in on Tuesday. Of course we are so sad to actually be at this point in this whole process. I've known this is where we were headed, but it's still impossible to believe it's happening. It's like I kept hoping someone would come along and say, ok just kidding, she's going to be fine. Yet there's something amazing about being decended upon by friends and family. We're not alone in this. We aren't alone to do the things we have to do and we aren't alone in our sadness. We won't be alone in missing her.