Back to School

So first of all,  if you read my post yesterday you might be a little bit concerned for me and the people within arm's reach of me. However, I'm OK. I just had a lot of what is known as "emotions". 

And while I don't take back what I wrote yesterday, I also feel no reason to punch anyone in the face today. Yesterday, my mood was dark and twisty. Today, we are back to even keel. So you can give me my shoelaces and belt back. I'm good. ;)

I'm going BACK TO SCHOOL!

As part of "The Plan" I am taking a class at Peabody College in Vanderbilt University. This, I'm hoping will accomplish two things. First, be a more recent transcript from a respected program with higher grades. Second show that I can do graduate level work in my chosen field. The class is called International Organizations and Economic Development and it is part of the masters' degree in  International Education and Policy Management. I had started to get nervous when I went to a few orientations and people started saying that I was in Grad School and that Grad School is hard! And I started realizing they were right!!  I haven't been in any kind of school since Clinton was president and I started to feel like I would have a severe learning curve as far as what it meant to go back to school. It didn't help that I was added late and for a long time I wasn't "in the system" or "registered" or "knew what I was doing"!  But everyone I've met has been so warm and welcoming. They treat me like I'm a full member of a program. So I'm acting like one and going to parties and mixers and things. 

To prepare for being in class again, I downloaded articles and blogs from the internet on "How to be a Good Grad Student" and "Study Tips for Grad School." Because here's the thing. I never learned how to study. I learned how to do homework at the last minute and turn it in. But I didn't know how to actively, consistently study. Or take notes! I found tips like, "If the professor repeats something, write it down and make it important. If the professor emphasizes what he's saying in a slower cadence, it's also important." Common sense things like that I found profoundly insightful. 

So my first class was last night. I was slightly terrified of having a Legally Blonde moment where everyone else has done the reading but me. I had stress dreams the night before where my car wasn't just broken down, it was broken! Like the wheel had broken off and somehow I still had to get home. So I was a little tense.  I got to the class super early and chose a table by myself. Soon others came in, including this tall model looking young woman in high heels and an expensive blouse. She was draped in her chair simultaneously chattering away about her research professor and her misgivings about him due to lack of teaching experience on his part and typing away on he brand new Mac what I was sure were notes for this class that she simply divined from the air,  even though class had not started. "She knows how to do grad school," I thought. "My back pack is so old it doesn't even have a dedicated cell phone pocket." 

But when the class did start, all my fears of not being up to the challenge went away. First thing the professor (who is enthusiastic and gregarious and engaging) made us do was to stand, introduce ourselves and say what we know of Economic Development so far. The last Econ class I took was in 1993 and all I remember is "supply and demand" so I didn't even mention it. I just said something about visiting and working in countries and areas with economic challenges and how development created access and options for people. It wasn't profound; it was just what I thought. But then I watched as some of the other students, including the glamorous grad student model, couldn't think about what they thought. They got so stuck because they didn't know the definition or a textbook response that they really struggled to give any answer at all. And these are very smart people! They got into a teeny-tiny, highly selective,  post-graduate program in the #1 ranked university for education according to US News & World Report. So, I started to feel OK about being there. Then as we flew through the economic global history of the modern age and I was answering questions and asking questions and following some  of the economic theory and then one of my table-mates asked to see MY notes at the end of class, I relaxed and realized, "Oh good! I might actually be smart!" 

It will be a lot of work and reading and studying. Yet, I think it's also going to be fascinating and inspiring and energizing. I'm reallylooking forward to Tuesdays.