When the Mundane becomes Bizarre
They say January is the most depressing month. The excitement of the holidays have passed, you're back to work and a dull routine and in most places around the country, the weather is gray and gloomy. Then of course you are dealing with all the bills from the holiday season. It can be a very low time. But not for me at all.
In January and February, returning to routine was exactly the most helpful thing. The holidays were very intense. Lovely, but intense and required a lot from me. But with the new year, came a welcome calm and a fresh perspective of my new town and new way of living. I've been temping with Vanderbilt since November. My first assignment was very entry level, mostly filing and organizing thousands of pieces of paper. It had very little actual responsibility other than reporting for work at a certain time. It was the perfect first job back into the real world. My second assignment has me at work at 8am. I have a lunch hour and I head home at 5pm. For the first time. Ever. I also dress up for work. There is no casual Friday, or Hawaiian Shirt Day. It's been fun to raise my fashion game and yes wear heels nearly every day. It gives me a certian swing in my walk and certain flip in my hair. I like it.
I've always been anti-normality. I've always cherished my uniqueness. I loved that I lived a bit like a gypsy, with spontenaity and a certain "Cocktails on Abbot Kinney" kind of glamour. Now I've watched my life become very normal. Most days I ride the bus with other commuters to my cubicle and bring my lean cuisine into work. I've started going to bed before 11pm and reading crime novels as a hobby. There's been a part of me that wants to scream, "I sailed the Amazon with Rain Forrest Breezes blowing in my hair! I spoke a new language and lived in an alley! I pet monkeys and parrots and baby pigs! I slept in hammocks and saw alligators! I'm adventurous!!" And now I wear loafers and live in the suburbs.
And you know what's weird? I kinda like it!
For someone who has never had much structure in my personal life, the stability that the rest of the world enjoys is a novelty that continues to amaze me with the things it enables me to do. Balance a budget, plan for the future, make plans for the evening and then do them. It feels a bit like trying on a different character. Or a different model of me. Like the different Barbie dolls that are available, this year I get to be City Corrie! Stylish and sophisticated, she is the Spreadsheet Queen of her office! From 8 to 5 she answers emails and fills out forms, before heading home to a sensible dinner the latest episode of The Good Wife. (Comes with bus pass and Starbucks coffee cup).
I told someone recently that I was reminded of working with 7th graders at church. When you ask them what they want to be when they grow up, they answer "A movie star, a veterinarian and an astronaut." And you nod encouragingly but laugh on the inside because you know that one person cannot be all three things. You have to pick one. Well, I feel like I'm getting to be everything I've ever wanted to be. I've worked in LA in film production, I've been a missionary, now I'm in the corporate world in the Southern US, and after that I plan to return to international aid worker, with a heavy dose of English Teacher thrown in. My life is SO un-ordinary that when it is ordinary, it's exciting!
I feel one of the biggest corner's I've turned (which is the one I consistently have to keep turning whenever my life changes) is that I've stopped trying to make my life in Nashville look or act a certain way. It is what it is. And I'm finally riding the current wave, instead of trying to plant my feet only to get pounded beneath the surge. I don't know how to surf, but I'm guessing that isn't how it's done. I'm guessing that when done right, it feels like everything, you nature, life, is moving in the same direction as it was always designed to be. I'm a couple steps closer to that.
In January and February, returning to routine was exactly the most helpful thing. The holidays were very intense. Lovely, but intense and required a lot from me. But with the new year, came a welcome calm and a fresh perspective of my new town and new way of living. I've been temping with Vanderbilt since November. My first assignment was very entry level, mostly filing and organizing thousands of pieces of paper. It had very little actual responsibility other than reporting for work at a certain time. It was the perfect first job back into the real world. My second assignment has me at work at 8am. I have a lunch hour and I head home at 5pm. For the first time. Ever. I also dress up for work. There is no casual Friday, or Hawaiian Shirt Day. It's been fun to raise my fashion game and yes wear heels nearly every day. It gives me a certian swing in my walk and certain flip in my hair. I like it.
I've always been anti-normality. I've always cherished my uniqueness. I loved that I lived a bit like a gypsy, with spontenaity and a certain "Cocktails on Abbot Kinney" kind of glamour. Now I've watched my life become very normal. Most days I ride the bus with other commuters to my cubicle and bring my lean cuisine into work. I've started going to bed before 11pm and reading crime novels as a hobby. There's been a part of me that wants to scream, "I sailed the Amazon with Rain Forrest Breezes blowing in my hair! I spoke a new language and lived in an alley! I pet monkeys and parrots and baby pigs! I slept in hammocks and saw alligators! I'm adventurous!!" And now I wear loafers and live in the suburbs.
And you know what's weird? I kinda like it!
For someone who has never had much structure in my personal life, the stability that the rest of the world enjoys is a novelty that continues to amaze me with the things it enables me to do. Balance a budget, plan for the future, make plans for the evening and then do them. It feels a bit like trying on a different character. Or a different model of me. Like the different Barbie dolls that are available, this year I get to be City Corrie! Stylish and sophisticated, she is the Spreadsheet Queen of her office! From 8 to 5 she answers emails and fills out forms, before heading home to a sensible dinner the latest episode of The Good Wife. (Comes with bus pass and Starbucks coffee cup).
I told someone recently that I was reminded of working with 7th graders at church. When you ask them what they want to be when they grow up, they answer "A movie star, a veterinarian and an astronaut." And you nod encouragingly but laugh on the inside because you know that one person cannot be all three things. You have to pick one. Well, I feel like I'm getting to be everything I've ever wanted to be. I've worked in LA in film production, I've been a missionary, now I'm in the corporate world in the Southern US, and after that I plan to return to international aid worker, with a heavy dose of English Teacher thrown in. My life is SO un-ordinary that when it is ordinary, it's exciting!
I feel one of the biggest corner's I've turned (which is the one I consistently have to keep turning whenever my life changes) is that I've stopped trying to make my life in Nashville look or act a certain way. It is what it is. And I'm finally riding the current wave, instead of trying to plant my feet only to get pounded beneath the surge. I don't know how to surf, but I'm guessing that isn't how it's done. I'm guessing that when done right, it feels like everything, you nature, life, is moving in the same direction as it was always designed to be. I'm a couple steps closer to that.
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