All I Do Is Win

Well hello August! June and July just kind of snuck out of here like Ninjas and so here we are. While there is disparity in the more than one office counts, I have 17 days left at my job. My good-bye office party is on the calendar. and while I refuse to actually count, I believe there are about 5 weeks left in my USA residency.  Let the panic attacks and the anxiety dreams begin! Oh wait, they already have. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. 

So, way back in June I talked about the impending 10k I had signed up for. You may remember I talked about how slow I run and I was worried about the 90 minute deadline for 10k runners. Well I had a fantastic race day! All of my training runs had been in the sweltering heat and humidity of Nashville summers, but the July 4th was a gorgeous clean clear day. Temperatures were in the low 80s, there was no humidity and a lovely light breeze was blowing.  Because of that and the new experience of running with 30,000 people, I ran a bit faster than I usually did. I completed the 10k in 1 hour 28 minutes. Got a medal and my post-race banana and actually had a great time. My dad and two best friends (one of them visiting from China) were there and it was a great accomplishment. 

The race consisted of two laps around the downtown Nashville area. On the second lap, I remember coming up a portion of Broadway and seeing the crystal blue of the sky and thinking about my mom and what she would make of it. And I felt her presence so strongly, just for a couple minutes, but it was there. I think she was there. 

Since the race I have run maybe twice. But I have THOUGHT about running a great deal. One day I may go for a run again. 

OK! So let's talk about Brussels. You may not realize this, but moving to a different country is very complicated with lots of decisions and preparations to do and accomplish. I've taken care of many of them. I have a plane ticket and a place to stay when I get there. My student loans are approved and lined up. And I now have a University of Kent email address. I've also got a waterproof winter coat and a backpack so I'm ready for school!

Several other things still have to be dealt with. Big things like selling my car and little things like getting trouser pants hemmed for flats. What to pack, what not to pack. And of course the always monster of a problem that won't ever stop being a problem: Money. Everything seems to cost a couple hundred dollars. And as Mom used to say, a couple hundred here, a couple hundred there and pretty soon you're talking real money. 

I've been having night after night of anxiety dreams. Many of which include being in public without proper attire. You know what I mean. Or I have to solve some challenging thing. Or people are just in my face stressing me out. Even my favorite TV shows are getting in on the act. The other night Stiles from Teen Wolf was yelling at me about all the things I have to do to get to Brussels. It was very rude.  

Yesterday, I woke up from just such a nightmare in the dark of the morning and started worrying. When the sun came up, I took myself for a walk. And I began to remember that although this process is so complicated and stressful, I've worked really hard for this opportunity. And I'm so excited to work very hard to make the most of this opportunity. Also this is my best chance to get everything I ever want in life. That's when my iPod chimed in with the poetic stylings of DJ Kahleed and reminded me that

All I do is win win win No matter what!

Got money on my mind, I can't ever get enough!

And every time I step up in the building, everybody hands go UP!!!!

And dey stay dere! And dey stay dere! And dey stay dere!

Up down up down up down

Cause all I do is WIN WIN WIN 

And if ya going in, put your hands in the air! Make'em stay dere!!

So yes. This is a lot. It requires a lot from me. But that's what it's supposed to do. And I can either be battered and thrown by every challenge that I'll face over the next several weeks (and I know I will be). Or I can remember that I started this drive, and all I do is win. So bring it on. 

Please enjoy actress Emma Stone's dramatic interpretation of this spoken word performance. And thank you DJ Kahleed. Thank you. 

For the full performance (and it's totally worth it) go here.