Five AM
I hate routines. Always have, always will. I don't like structure or rules or discipline. I like to do what I want, when I want. Whimsy. Spontaneity. Unpredictability. Flexibility. These are words I like and have always been associated with. However, I'm beginning to implement routines. Because I have big goals I want to achieve and achieving those goals means sacrificing my immediate wants. I want a better body. Unfortunately, TV and carbs have not given me the desired result.
Speaking of, let's talk about working out.
I actually really like working out. I started working with a trainer at my gym sometime around Memorial Day. A significant high school reunion is now only a couple of weeks away and I wanted to start feeling and looking better. I really like my trainer. She is teeny tiny. I think she comes up to between my elbow and shoulder. She doesn't yell at me or scold me. She appreciates baby steps in the right direction and she's very encouraging. She has me do a different rotation of strength exercises each week. I have found that I am ridiculously strong. Which feels amazing. It feel so amazing that I'm crushed to look in the mirror or see pictures and realize I'm still fat. I feel like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. I should look like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. I mean, I've been doing this for WEEKS! Several in fact. Diet is still something I'm refining and I'll get to that. But working out. I like working out in the evenings. I get all hot and sweaty, then come home and shower and then crawl into bed and let my hair air dry over night. Wake up in the morning and my morning routine is not as involved. Clothes, make-up, perhaps some breakfast and out. The problem is, there isn't always time in the evenings. So I miss work outs and that's counter productive. This morning I decided it's time to implement these routines I hate so much and start working out in the morning.
I literally have difficulty believing this, but I got up at FIVE am this morning. I did my work out while listening to a podcast (Fill the Tanks, that's another goal. I'll tackle that in another post another time), and was back at the house by 6:30 am. Crowd goes wild for me. However, there are cons to this pro-active plan. First of all waking up that early is terrible. It's the worst. It's dark. And I like sleeping. And I have to go to bed earlier in order to get up that early. Who likes that? No one! Second, I am a sweater. I sweat profusely. I can start sweating crossing a cool room. It's my body, it's how I'm built. My life in the Amazon was a lovely constant series of showers and no make-up and the futility of dressing nice only to arrive somewhere with sweat stains. I like sweating when I work out. It's how I know I did it. But working out in the morning means I'm hot from the gym, I'm hot from the shower and I don't calm down till about 20 minutes into work. So I'm dressing and putting on make-up while still sweating. And then it's hot outside, so it's hot in the car. Again, counter productive. I no like. However, on the pro side of morning workouts, I've felt really good today (albeit a little tired) and it's done. So I can have my evening to do other things. Which is nice. And I really feel that to see those Lara Croft results I'm after, I have to be drastic in my routines. I love my body. It's created by generations of German/English/Scots-Irish tough people who have weathered tough lives and survived! It's meant to be the wife of a large hairy farmer, able to pop out his large babies and milk cows and drive plows pulled by a team of oxen. Thank God I don't have to do that in this lifetime (knock on wood). But I do want to see what it can do. I've shrouded it in sugar and shame and eating my feelings. But just how strong can I get? How athletic am I? What would optimal health look like and how would it, could it, change my life. Just musing. Just wondering. I'll do the five am thing for a while and see what it does. And I'll write down what I eat (which I also really do not enjoy). And possibly I'll start giving up other things like bread or wine or (shudder to think) chocolate. Because I want what I want. And wanting the hard stuff always take sacrifice.
Speaking of, let's talk about working out.
I actually really like working out. I started working with a trainer at my gym sometime around Memorial Day. A significant high school reunion is now only a couple of weeks away and I wanted to start feeling and looking better. I really like my trainer. She is teeny tiny. I think she comes up to between my elbow and shoulder. She doesn't yell at me or scold me. She appreciates baby steps in the right direction and she's very encouraging. She has me do a different rotation of strength exercises each week. I have found that I am ridiculously strong. Which feels amazing. It feel so amazing that I'm crushed to look in the mirror or see pictures and realize I'm still fat. I feel like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. I should look like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider. I mean, I've been doing this for WEEKS! Several in fact. Diet is still something I'm refining and I'll get to that. But working out. I like working out in the evenings. I get all hot and sweaty, then come home and shower and then crawl into bed and let my hair air dry over night. Wake up in the morning and my morning routine is not as involved. Clothes, make-up, perhaps some breakfast and out. The problem is, there isn't always time in the evenings. So I miss work outs and that's counter productive. This morning I decided it's time to implement these routines I hate so much and start working out in the morning.
I literally have difficulty believing this, but I got up at FIVE am this morning. I did my work out while listening to a podcast (Fill the Tanks, that's another goal. I'll tackle that in another post another time), and was back at the house by 6:30 am. Crowd goes wild for me. However, there are cons to this pro-active plan. First of all waking up that early is terrible. It's the worst. It's dark. And I like sleeping. And I have to go to bed earlier in order to get up that early. Who likes that? No one! Second, I am a sweater. I sweat profusely. I can start sweating crossing a cool room. It's my body, it's how I'm built. My life in the Amazon was a lovely constant series of showers and no make-up and the futility of dressing nice only to arrive somewhere with sweat stains. I like sweating when I work out. It's how I know I did it. But working out in the morning means I'm hot from the gym, I'm hot from the shower and I don't calm down till about 20 minutes into work. So I'm dressing and putting on make-up while still sweating. And then it's hot outside, so it's hot in the car. Again, counter productive. I no like. However, on the pro side of morning workouts, I've felt really good today (albeit a little tired) and it's done. So I can have my evening to do other things. Which is nice. And I really feel that to see those Lara Croft results I'm after, I have to be drastic in my routines. I love my body. It's created by generations of German/English/Scots-Irish tough people who have weathered tough lives and survived! It's meant to be the wife of a large hairy farmer, able to pop out his large babies and milk cows and drive plows pulled by a team of oxen. Thank God I don't have to do that in this lifetime (knock on wood). But I do want to see what it can do. I've shrouded it in sugar and shame and eating my feelings. But just how strong can I get? How athletic am I? What would optimal health look like and how would it, could it, change my life. Just musing. Just wondering. I'll do the five am thing for a while and see what it does. And I'll write down what I eat (which I also really do not enjoy). And possibly I'll start giving up other things like bread or wine or (shudder to think) chocolate. Because I want what I want. And wanting the hard stuff always take sacrifice.
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