Bundled Blog
This is lots of mini-blogs and thoughts assembled into one long one for your convenience. Lets says its Bundled.
Mom update: We got a call from her oncologists that recent labs showed super-high levels of Calcium which is no good. So, Thursday we went back into the E.R. We were there for the night, then Friday admitted again to the 8th floor of VUMC. Mom has a wonderful staff of nurses and doctors attending to her. And I can tell she's doing much better. Today she's doing even better, walking, talking people's ears off. Her appetite is back and we're being militant about keeping fluids in. Just say no to dehydration!
For all of us, this last trip to the hospital is a point-of-no-return for stepping up her care. From here, we hope to go to an in-patient rehab facility. She needs to continue close monitoring of her levels as well as physical rehab to get as strong as possible. The last few weeks, she's dropped a significant amount of weight from not eating which means she's lost muscle. Also, because she was so dehydrated in these past weeks, she fell on Friday. She bruised her back and shoulder and scared herself, shaking her confidence in her ability to stand on her own. Re-hab will help. The other important thing re-hab does is it gives us an adjustment period to ramp into the next stage of care. We can determine our resources and help get the medical support in place to make sure mom gets to have the best quality care. And prepare ourselves for what could be coming next.
Random psychological update: I tend to speak in the Royal We to people about my mother. "We got admitted to the hospital." "They're keeping us over night." I watched Lie to Me, that Fox show about behaviors and micro-expression. I know it's a sign of unhealthy association. So now, I'm trying to say 'my mother" when talking to distinguish the difference between her and myself. But honestly it feels like we both are going through it. Whatever "it" is.
90 Day Yoga Challenge update: Failing. June 1st, I started a 90 Yogas in 90 Days challenge. I made it to day 4. I did another one in there somewhere so I think I've officially done 5 yogas in 18 days. I'm officially 2 weeks behind. I figure tomorrow I'll start two-a-days until I catch up. Right. Because I've been so awesome at getting one done a day.
Obstacles:
- I don't like getting up early. (I can get up for work, but not for exercise).
- Erratic schedule including unscheduled trips to the ER.
- Exhaustion. When mom is home, it takes an hour or so to get her medicated and put to bed. After that I'm so tired, it's a challenge to wash my face or brush my teeth before collapsing in to bed. Even a 20 minute yoga sessions sounds like climbing Mt. Everest
- Complete lack of will-power (duh).
Helps
- Free yoga in Centennial Park on tuesday nights at 6pm.
- Yoga classes at the gym on Wednesday and Thursday nights
- The Gym Class Heroes Song, "the Fighter" which I've had on repeat to and from the hospital.
Usually, once reaching a 5/18 stat, I would throw the towel in. But I'm not quitting just yet. I'm hoping that with these other supports in place (re-hab, at home care) there won't be so much pressure to be at mom's side so much. And I can start incorporating more balance into my schedule. She wants to be independent and I want that. And we're working more towards that.
Mental Outlook: We're all facing change and transition. We don't know what it's supposed to look like, these next few months, hopefully years. We're making it up as we go along. It's all so hard and terrible what we're dealing with that yeah, I indulge myself with any comfort I can. Retail therapy, carb therapy, extra sleep whenever possible. But I don't want to make excuses for myself. I want to look back on this time and know I did it well. That I did the hard thing. That I didn't just get by or do what needed to be done, but I got past the pain and rough spots to experience the beauty and joy of this time. I want to know that I didn't dissolve into self-comfort or bitterness or resentment. I could very well be entitled to all of that, but isn't life hard enough without all that negative stuff? When people tell the story of this journey, do I want them to make excuses for me or do I want them to say "that was amazing,"? I want people to say that about my relationship with my mother, my attitude, my commitment to my job, my own personal emotional health. And the only way to get there is to do my absolute best in all these areas. I feel I've been doing well. I want to do great. My mom and the people around me deserve great. So no more excuses. Here comes the Fighter.
Mom update: We got a call from her oncologists that recent labs showed super-high levels of Calcium which is no good. So, Thursday we went back into the E.R. We were there for the night, then Friday admitted again to the 8th floor of VUMC. Mom has a wonderful staff of nurses and doctors attending to her. And I can tell she's doing much better. Today she's doing even better, walking, talking people's ears off. Her appetite is back and we're being militant about keeping fluids in. Just say no to dehydration!
For all of us, this last trip to the hospital is a point-of-no-return for stepping up her care. From here, we hope to go to an in-patient rehab facility. She needs to continue close monitoring of her levels as well as physical rehab to get as strong as possible. The last few weeks, she's dropped a significant amount of weight from not eating which means she's lost muscle. Also, because she was so dehydrated in these past weeks, she fell on Friday. She bruised her back and shoulder and scared herself, shaking her confidence in her ability to stand on her own. Re-hab will help. The other important thing re-hab does is it gives us an adjustment period to ramp into the next stage of care. We can determine our resources and help get the medical support in place to make sure mom gets to have the best quality care. And prepare ourselves for what could be coming next.
Random psychological update: I tend to speak in the Royal We to people about my mother. "We got admitted to the hospital." "They're keeping us over night." I watched Lie to Me, that Fox show about behaviors and micro-expression. I know it's a sign of unhealthy association. So now, I'm trying to say 'my mother" when talking to distinguish the difference between her and myself. But honestly it feels like we both are going through it. Whatever "it" is.
90 Day Yoga Challenge update: Failing. June 1st, I started a 90 Yogas in 90 Days challenge. I made it to day 4. I did another one in there somewhere so I think I've officially done 5 yogas in 18 days. I'm officially 2 weeks behind. I figure tomorrow I'll start two-a-days until I catch up. Right. Because I've been so awesome at getting one done a day.
Obstacles:
- I don't like getting up early. (I can get up for work, but not for exercise).
- Erratic schedule including unscheduled trips to the ER.
- Exhaustion. When mom is home, it takes an hour or so to get her medicated and put to bed. After that I'm so tired, it's a challenge to wash my face or brush my teeth before collapsing in to bed. Even a 20 minute yoga sessions sounds like climbing Mt. Everest
- Complete lack of will-power (duh).
Helps
- Free yoga in Centennial Park on tuesday nights at 6pm.
- Yoga classes at the gym on Wednesday and Thursday nights
- The Gym Class Heroes Song, "the Fighter" which I've had on repeat to and from the hospital.
Usually, once reaching a 5/18 stat, I would throw the towel in. But I'm not quitting just yet. I'm hoping that with these other supports in place (re-hab, at home care) there won't be so much pressure to be at mom's side so much. And I can start incorporating more balance into my schedule. She wants to be independent and I want that. And we're working more towards that.
Mental Outlook: We're all facing change and transition. We don't know what it's supposed to look like, these next few months, hopefully years. We're making it up as we go along. It's all so hard and terrible what we're dealing with that yeah, I indulge myself with any comfort I can. Retail therapy, carb therapy, extra sleep whenever possible. But I don't want to make excuses for myself. I want to look back on this time and know I did it well. That I did the hard thing. That I didn't just get by or do what needed to be done, but I got past the pain and rough spots to experience the beauty and joy of this time. I want to know that I didn't dissolve into self-comfort or bitterness or resentment. I could very well be entitled to all of that, but isn't life hard enough without all that negative stuff? When people tell the story of this journey, do I want them to make excuses for me or do I want them to say "that was amazing,"? I want people to say that about my relationship with my mother, my attitude, my commitment to my job, my own personal emotional health. And the only way to get there is to do my absolute best in all these areas. I feel I've been doing well. I want to do great. My mom and the people around me deserve great. So no more excuses. Here comes the Fighter.
UPDATE: 6 for 18. ;)
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